Moms lie. A lot. “The cookies are all gone, Leo.”
“The slide is closed. The lifeguards need a break.”
“They’re all out of chocolate milk shakes, Quincy.”
“I love our pediatrician. We’ve found the best doctor for June!”
Most of the time moms know they’re being deceitful (such is the case for the first three statements), but sometimes they don’t even realize they’re insincere (such as the last statement about their baby doctor).
All those moms are lying, because I HAVE FOUND THE BEST pediatrician, Dr. Joseph Cohen. As Bunder has said in the past, “Dr. Joe is AWESOME!” (He really has said that without prompting – honest – not a lie!)
Our doctor is so awesome he goes by the name, “Dr. Joe.” How cool is that? None of that tongue-tied last name, professional business! Not that Dr. Joe isn’t professional – he is in his own unique – wear red sneakers – sort of way. Oh, wait? Maybe that’s not an example of professionalism. Who cares? I love that he wears red sneakers, and he is professional. I just don’t want to write about it, because professionalism is expected and boring. Dr. Joe is anything but boring.
He pierces ears. That’s right – he gave Kiki her bling and he loved it! Come to think of it, maybe that’s what makes Dr. Joe so over the top – he loves his job. It’s evident in his interactions with the kids and his heartfelt dialogue with the parents.
On one particular visit, Bunder was especially rambunctious. (You know what I’m talking about moms. Not the typical terrible-two’s dance around the room, jump of the chair sort of wildness but an all out screaming at the top of his lungs, hanging from the ceiling sort of rambunctiousness).
My forehead dripped with sweat, I gritted my teeth, and I used my best teacher – stern – not yelling voice. I was trying very hard not to resort to what usually works in such a situation (screaming at Bunder to stop, threatening him, or something equally not appropriate for the doctor’s office). Dr. Joe ever so calmly turned his iPad over to Bunder with an Elmo video playing off YouTube. Incredible! In past similar situations, the other pediatricians I’ve visited (and I’ve visited quite a few) gave me looks of concern and cut the appointment short. Not Dr. Joe.
Why do all those moms lie about their pediatricians and say they’ve found the best? I have a theory. As moms (especially S.A.H.M.s), when do we get a quarterly review? When does our boss sing our praises and pat us on the back? When do we sit down and assess everything we’ve done right in our jobs? That’s right – NEVER. Visiting the pediatrician is the closest thing we have to a quarterly review. The doctor tells us our child is healthy, and we’re reassured. If the doctor is smart, he throws in some encouraging words.
What about you? Do you have a similar relationship with your pediatrician? Do you feel uplifted after a visit?